“I have been a manager at my company for three years. For most of my time in this job, I worked well with my team, doing my best to be sensitive and avoid micromanaging. I managed alongside another director for a few years, and we had a healthy professional relationship. After a year and a half of working at the organization, I experienced a sudden loss when both of my parents got sick and passed away in a short time. My brother is autistic, and when my parents passed, he lived with them in full-time care. I had to step in to handle my parents’ affairs and care for my brother. The new responsibilities amidst the difficult loss brought significant grief, insecurity, and stress into my life. The lack of control in my family situation impacted my work. I was afraid of losing my one source of stability: my job.
To regain control over my environment, I began micromanaging my workplace. The frustrations in my personal life created tension in my communications with my team. Within a year, I found working alongside the other director increasingly problematic. I had opinions on everything she did, and disagreements escalated into a conflict. It became unbearable to work with my colleague, and relationships were breaking down in our unit. My supervisor recognized the need for intervention and invited Caroline to mediate so we could find a way to move past our differences.
At the first meeting, I did not want to discuss my situation. I told Caroline that my colleague was in the wrong and she could not help. In the second meeting, Caroline helped me realize that the difficulties I was experiencing were impacting my working relationships. I told Caroline about my personal life and my challenges with my family. We discussed how my colleague was not entirely wrong, and my negative opinions were an effort to retain agency. I realized the situation was not black and white. Neither my colleague nor I were wholly at fault, but my actions sat within the context of painful circumstances. Caroline helped me see how my story negatively influenced my approach to my job. I could take ownership of my narrative more constructively.
Caroline invited me to share my story with my colleague. I agreed and explained the situation, and apologized for my behavior. She empathized with my experience. By sharing my struggles, we began healing our relationship and progressing toward a solution. I started moving on with my life when I acted with vulnerability and trust. Now, I continue to work effectively with my team and my colleague. I’m hopeful we can maintain open dialogue in the future.”
There is a transformative moment in conflict resolution where clients realize they can release the anger they’ve been holding on to. In the first conversation, people are in combat mode and want to prove they are right. The switch occurs when the person realizes they genuinely wish someone to listen. Anger and conflict come from the desire to protect yourself. By approaching conflict resolution with care, I encourage people to let go of these negative emotions and start the path toward healing. Being vulnerable and confronting our flaws can be scary, but taking accountability is a freeing practice. By acknowledging their actions, clients can overcome adversity and take the next step in their story with positivity and hope. Please contact EVOCrh to learn how Caroline can help your company resolve conflicts through thoughtful discussion and compassion
