Thomas Crum once said, “The quality of our lives depends not on whether or not we have conflicts but on how we respond to them.” Conflict is never an easy or comfortable experience, but as a natural part of our lives, the ability to respond effectively to conflict is crucial. Conflict management skills allow us to address adversity with a productive and thoughtful attitude and reduce these situations’ negative impacts on our day-to-day lives. In the workplace, conflict management skills are especially essential when working with groups of other people where various responsibilities, interests, and expectations are at play. As we mentioned in our blog, everyone approaches conflict differently depending on their communication styles, background, and perspective. Knowing how you address conflict helps you determine how to approach disagreements best to create productive outcomes.
To understand your style of conflict behavior, we look to the Thomas-Kilmann conflict management model. University researchers Kenneth W. Thomas and Ralph H. Kilmann studied how people managed conflicts and created their assessment tool in 1974 to measure an individual’s behavior in conflict situations. They segmented the approaches people take to resolve disputes into five categories. Based on the five categories, Thomas and Kilmann developed a framework for quickly assessing and resolving conflict that doesn’t require special qualifications. HR, consultants, mediators, negotiators, and coaches use the test to create opportunities for discussion around how different conflict behaviors impact interpersonal and organizational relationships.
The Thomas-Kilmann conflict management model is effective because it classifies conflict resolution styles and educates people on how and when to use them. Thomas-Kilmann assessments mitigate conflict by helping individuals look at the situation with an informed perspective and a toolkit of solutions. When organizations integrate the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Model, they encourage team building, leadership development, performance improvement, stress reduction, and retention. The model’s effectiveness is self-evident: over the last forty years, more than 8,000,000 copies of the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) have been published.
Understanding the five conflict profiles that the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Model presents is beneficial because it helps us recognize how we deal with conflicts and how others approach them. The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Model identifies five modes for an individual’s response to conflict situations: competing, accommodating, avoiding, collaborating, and compromising. Two primary methods underlie all five conflict behaviors: assertiveness and cooperation. Assertiveness signifies how a person can adopt a more dominant tactic to satisfy their concerns. Collaborating represents how someone will take a more compliant approach to adapt to the circumstances of others. These underlying qualities are the two variables with which we can assess the five conflict response profiles:
Competing
High assertiveness and low cooperation identify the competing approach. Competing orients around personal power in conflict resolution strategy, deciding to be assertive and prioritize your desired outcome without cooperation given to the opposing party. A competing profile is only sometimes negative. It can be helpful when you are trying to defend your rights or make impactful, time-sensitive decisions. The underlying positions motivating this ‘winner takes all’ approach are pivotal in the competing profile.
Avoiding
Low assertiveness and low cooperation identify the avoiding approach. The avoidance approach is passive, in which the individual strives to have minimal interaction with the issue and does not express their opinions or concerns with the other party. An avoidant profile can include evading or postponing an issue or withdrawing from a situation entirely. Individuals are avoidant when they believe the effort of resolving a conflict outweighs the struggle of living with it. Outside of certain conditions, such as where safety or threatening behavior is involved, the avoidant mode rarely ‘avoids’ conflict, delaying the issue or paving the way for future disputes.
Accommodating
Low assertiveness and high cooperation identify the accommodating approach. Accommodating is the opposite of the competing system. When individuals take an accommodating tactic, they sacrifice their desires to satisfy the other party’s concern in the conflict. People use the accommodating mode when they want to resolve a dispute swiftly and are willing to relinquish their concerns. Accommodating conflict resolution can manifest as submitting to another person’s viewpoint, resolving minor problems for a project’s primary goals, and actions taken in the spirit of generosity or charity.
Collaborating
High assertiveness and cooperation identify the collaborating approach and are the opposite of avoiding. People use the collaborating mode of conflict when the parties want to work together to find a solution that fully satisfies everyone’s concerns. Collaborating occurs when people are ready to be cooperative and dedicate the time to explore the conflict and address the deeper desires and perspectives of those involved. Usually, collaborating involves a detailed discussion, an in-depth analysis of the disagreement, and finally, a resolution benefitting both parties. Collaborating does require substantial time and effort, but collaborating to resolve a dispute often includes innovative solutions where the insights learned catalyze long-term change.
Compromising
Moderate assertiveness and cooperation identify the compromising approach. Compromising sits in the middle of the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Model. People adopt compromise when seeking a quick, effective solution that both parties accept. Compromising can fulfill both sides’ desires, with more sacrifice than competing but less accommodating. While collaborating may be the more comprehensive approach, sometimes compromising is practical when individuals want to avoid a lengthy resolution process. Compromising provides more resolution for a conflict than avoiding it, as it is a direct approach where each party gets something they want. Still, it needs to give more depth of understanding to mitigate future conflict. Compromising conflict can manifest as concessions, an even split of resources, or a trade.
No one approach is the unequivocal ‘best’ way to resolve disputes. All five conflict approaches can be useful, and people often prefer specific modes due to temperament and taught behaviors. The choice of tactic in conflict resolution depends on both personal predispositions and the factors of a person’s situation, from the problem’s immediacy to the relationship with the other party. To help individuals understand the nuances of their conflict approach, the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Model tests your dispositions across various personal and professional situations.
When I completed the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Model, I realized I have a more ‘avoiding’ profile. This information enabled me to understand my communication style better and work on engaging more actively when I have conflicts with others. For example, my husband and I were having a dispute with our neighbor, and I was unwilling to address them directly. My husband told me that by avoiding the issue with our neighbor, I was creating a stressful home environment and worsening the problem. I realized I needed to practice what I preach and resolve the issue instead of shunning it. By addressing the conflict with our neighbor, my husband and I could move on and release the stress it had created in our relationship. This situation reminded me that resolving disputes is a continual practice, and everyone can grow by reflecting upon their approach. In the same way, organizations can utilize the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Model to gain productive insights into conflict management, reduce recurring workplace difficulties, and pave the way for improved morale and team success. I invite you to take the Thomas-Kilmann Test and discover your conflict profile here.
