The power of our life stories can be elusive to us. It took many years to embrace my story and see how my past trials have enriched my life. In doing so, I have healed, created meaningful relationships, and inspired resiliency in others. I will share my story with you now, hoping it will encourage you to find inspiration in your narrative.

 I was born into a family of professionals. I grew up with the idea that achievements and money define success. My father was a lawyer, and my mother worked in finance. I assumed that it was my responsibility to be a professional as well. As a child, performing and succeeding was my primary goal. I participated in sports, gymnastics, and ballet and aspired to achieve my best.  The accolades I received as I prospered reaffirmed the notion that success was the ultimate objective.  

I carried this competitive mindset into my career. I believed getting a high-level job in an organization was the most important thing. I focused on salary increases and promotions as I ascended the career ladder. I never thought about my happiness or considered what I genuinely wanted. I just assumed I would be happier with more achievements and money. I loved my first manager position in 2008, working at a company aligned with my values. However, my focus on income and accolades led me to make the wrong choices. I changed jobs for higher pay and a more prestigious role aligned with my idea of ‘success.’ However, the company did not connect with my values. With my higher salary, I bought a nicer car and moved into a bigger house, but I began to realize that my mental health was deteriorating.

 For two years, the stress I put on my body began to impact me severely. I did not sleep well and got sick often. The relationship with my children always felt tense, and my supportive husband became concerned. Physically and mentally, I felt increasingly unbalanced and strained. I realized my work did not align with my values, mental health, or personal life. At the time, I did not see that a change was necessary. I stayed in the position for five years before moving to a new job. Once again, I changed jobs because the pay was good and the role was prestigious. Deep down, I knew I was making the wrong choice, but I was preoccupied with the aesthetics of the ‘impressive executive job’ I had idolized since childhood.

I knew the challenges when I accepted the role, but the daily pressures took a considerable toll on me. Four months into the job, I cried every morning and was so overworked I couldn’t open my computer. I hit rock bottom and finally realized I could not support my team.

I went to my doctor, and after undergoing some tests, they diagnosed me with burnout. I took leave for six months to heal and then returned to the office in June 2019. Unfortunately, the exhaustion was only the tip of the iceberg. A month after returning to work, I was hospitalized. I had inflammation, my joints continually ached, and my body shut down. After three weeks in the hospital, the doctors diagnosed me with Still Disease. Titled ‘The Dragon’ by people with the condition, it is a rare autoimmune disease that attacks the skin, eyes, liver, heart, joints, muscles, and bones with intense burning at least twice a day. One in a million people have the condition, and getting a hold of effective medication is challenging, and it takes a long time to get it under control. The disease was the total opposite of what I am. I wanted to be active, concentrate, and challenge myself, but my body said “no.”

 I returned to work in September to find that my company had no idea how to provide physical or mental health support for my illness, especially at my executive level. At this moment, I faced a new reality, so I quit my job in January 2020. I had to dig deep and completely rethink everything outside of achievements and work. I considered my life path and what it meant to be successful. For a long time, I did not think I would recover. I asked myself difficult questions to understand how to create balance and happiness in my new life. One of the first and most essential steps in this process was reconnecting with my loved ones. The disease changed my relationships with my parents, children, husband, and friends. It showed me that you must hold tight to the people in your life. Instead of making these bonds weaker, the disease made them stronger. I saw that if the condition could strengthen my relationships, it could also bring strength to me.

 With time I found that the solutions were already inside of me. Still, the disease catalyzed my journey to discover who I am. I could only discover my true self by looking within and living for me instead of living for the expectations of others. Going through burnout and being diagnosed with Still Disease was the most challenging experience of my life, but I am so grateful for it. These challenges showed me that even in the worst-case scenarios, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, and there is no limit to how bright that light will burn!

Four years on, I am happy, healthy, and in ownership of my life. Every day I wake up and live with more attention and gratitude. I listen to the birds in the morning and enjoy the little things, like a picnic with my children. I prioritize my loved ones and try to let go of control more. The journey is never over, but I continually remind myself to focus on my happiness and true intentions in life. Still, the disease reconnected me to my personal life and created a newfound meaning in my professional life. Only by letting go of superficial prestige did I experience genuine success. Today, I am making more money than ever in a job that brings me joy by helping others. I discovered I could use my experience to support people in challenging professional scenarios. I learned the value of active listening and realized we could all overcome our challenges by asking the right questions.

In my conflict mediation, I create a safe space for open dialogue so people can begin to answer their critical questions. Through storytelling, I help professionals take ownership of their narratives and compassionately overcome organizational disputes. I see strong people break down when they get into a conflict. I relate intimately to those overwhelming feelings, so I do everything I can to help people understand they are not alone in their struggles. I share how the viewpoint of our parents, experiences, and cultures influence our self-perception. The more we embrace our stories and create an honest dialogue with ourselves, the better we can do the work to heal and thrive.

One book in particular, The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel A. van der Kolk, was informative in my healing journey. As I end sharing this chapter of my life, I pass this quote to you: “Mindfulness not only makes it possible to survey our internal landscape with curiosity but can also actively steer us in the right direction for self-care. As long as we feel safely held in the hearts and minds of the people who love us, we will climb mountains and cross deserts.” Each time I share my story is a therapeutic experience and reminds me how resilient I have become. I hope that in reading my story, you will find the strength in yours as well. Please contact EVOCrh to learn how we can help you bring the power of storytelling to your organization.